


The One You Really Love

by Littlecherryblossom26



Category: Charité | Charité at War (TV)
Genre: Gay, I don't really know - Freeform, I just love this pairing so much, Love, M/M, Maybe some other characters will be mentioned or make a brief appearance, Post War, Sort of AU, getting over the war and what happened before it, historical fiction - Freeform, just a fanwork, not really accurate, when the past comes back to shatter your life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:54:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21722560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlecherryblossom26/pseuds/Littlecherryblossom26
Summary: Now that the Second World War was officially over, Martin and Otto could finally sleep without fear and live peacefully, even though their relationship still had to be kept a secret as paragraph 175 was still in force.Everything was going well until one day they got an unexpected patient at the Charité…The characters are the same as in the series except for the OC I created myself, even though he’s still based on someone who is mentioned in the show.
Relationships: Otto Marquardt/Martin Schelling
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is actually a kind of AU, a “what if” Martin’s old love had come back alive from KZ just after the war, and how Martin and Otto would have coped with that.  
> And this is an idea I found interesting to explore for some reason; probably (and mainly) because a friend of mine told me one day that 'what if's' were what made fan fiction stories better and more interesting to read.  
> So here you go. 
> 
> Just so you know, there will be several chapters to this story, though I don't know how many yet; but they will be very short anyway. 
> 
> I really hope you'll like this story!

It was another normal day at the Charité; Otto and Martin were still working together, and they would usually exchange knowing looks and smiles, always in a very subtle way, whenever they were near each other. This was one of their ways to say to each other ‘I love you’. Now they didn’t fear any longer someone might have denounced them to the authorities, and now that nurse Christel wasn’t there anymore, no other lady had tried to steal Otto’s heart, to Martin’s great relief.  
They had chosen to stay in Berlin simply because they couldn’t picture themselves working anywhere else other than at the Charité. There was something in this place that made them feel as if they were home. 

Today, a new patient had just been transferred, and so Martin went to see him. And to say that he was surprised when his eyes landed on said patient was an understatement. 

“Pe..Peter..?”

Said man made eye contact with him, seemingly as surprised as Martin was to see him. But he didn’t say anything. 

It was a blond man who must have been in his late thirties, or rather his forties; but it was hard to say, and his blue eyes were dull and lifeless. And with a simple look in those eyes, you could guess how the man must have suffered. 

“Peter?” Martin repeated worryingly in an attempt to trigger some reaction on the man’s part. 

But nothing. Peter just remained speechless and inert. 

He was most likely suffering from PTSD. But not only that, he was in a terrible physical condition. God knows what he must have gone through. 

Martin decided to sit on the edge of the hospital bed slowly and carefully so he wouldn’t scare him and just contemplated him in silence.

“Peter, please say something…”

But he didn’t seem to be able to open his mouth anymore. 

Martin sighed silently.

“What did they do to you in there?” He asked with a hint of despair in his voice. 

After staring at him for a bit longer, he deemed it was pointless to wait for some reaction on his part and stood up from the bed to give him the medical care he needed. 

He knew he would have probably be the same had he been sent there too. 

But what he didn’t know is that Otto had been observing them from afar. 

He kept watching Martin for a little while until he approached the two men. 

“Is everything alright?” He asked somehow looking concerned. 

“Not really… He is completely buried…” Martin replied, still looking worried. 

Otto gave the sick man a sympathetic look. He was well aware of how awful it was to be buried. 

“Poor guy…” he uttered. “Mind if I examine him?” He then asked Martin.

“No, go ahead. There are other patients I need to see anyway.”

But before he could go away, Otto grabbed his arm.

“Are you sure you are all right? You don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine,” he assured him, before walking away. 

But Otto wasn't convinced at all by his statement. He knew Martin well enough to figure out he wasn't fine. 

"Well, now for the two of us."


	2. Chapter 2

Once the night had fallen that same day, Martin went back to see Peter to check on him. 

He made sure that they were alone so they wouldn’t be disturbed by anyone. 

Peter had undergone surgery earlier that day, and fortunately everything had gone fine.

Martin sat again on the edge of the bed, but didn’t say a word. 

To his great surprise, Peter was the one to start the conversation. 

“I’m so glad to see you again.”

Martin gave him what seemed to be a guilty look. 

“After all this time…” Peter added. 

“…..”

“I’m relieved to see that you are alive and safe,” he continued. 

How curious, now Martin was the one who wasn’t able to speak any longer. 

“I hope front probation wasn’t too traumatic.”

No, he wasn’t being ironic; he really meant it. 

Martin looked away from him for a while until he decided to look back at him. 

“Certainly not as traumatic as concentration camps,” he replied gravely. 

“I guess so…”

There was a short moment of silence before Peter spoke again. 

“Well, at least you don’t have any physical impairment,” he said as if trying to joke to lighten the mood.

If only he knew…

“Actually, I do.”

“Really?” Peter answered somehow shocked to learn this. 

“Yes.”

Peter stared at him intently as if he was trying to guess which part of his body made him disabled. 

“Come on, show me,” he asked him out of curiosity. “I’ve seen worse than what you can imagine, so I won’t freak out.” 

Martin seemed to be reluctant about his request, but he ended up showing him. 

“This is a nice prosthetic you got there,” Peter stated after he had shown it to him. 

“Yes…”

“You’re lucky.”

“I know.”

There was another moment of silence afterward, but this one lasted longer.

“It’s time I left now. You need to rest up,” Martin stated solemnly, breaking the silence. 

“No please, don’t leave me all alone here…” Peter said in distress as Martin was standing up from the bed. 

Martin looked at him again with sorry eyes. 

“I’d like to, but I can’t stay with you here all night long.”

“And why not?” 

“Because I am not allowed to do that.”

“Please…” he begged. 

The vulnerability in his voice only made the feeling of guilt stronger in Martin. 

“I promise I’ll make sure you won’t get into trouble if you do,” he added, still with that begging tone in his voice. 

But Martin really couldn’t do that. If he did, Otto would become suspicious. 

“I’m sure you’ll be fine for this night. And I promise I’ll come to see you at the crack of dawn tomorrow.”

“Martin, no… I need-”

“If you need anything, just ask for it. Another nurse will be staying nearby in case there is a problem. Good night,” said man cut him off before leaving the room. 

He went back to the attic room where he and Otto were still living. Even if Otto wasn’t hiding anymore, they still preferred to keep on living there for now. They were used to it by now. And this was only temporary accommodation anyway. 

“Where have you been?” Otto asked him as soon as he saw him. 

“Checking on some patient.”

“You mean the guy who was just transferred in the surgical ward today.”

The two men made eye contact, but this time there wasn’t any love in their looks. 

“…”

Martin didn’t seem to know what to reply to that. 

“You know him, don’t you?”

“What makes you say so?” 

“I know you, Martin. I know you well enough to figure out that kind of thing.”

“…”

“Please, tell me the truth. You don’t need to hide anything from me.”

Silence. 

“Martin…”

“His name is Peter. He’s…he’s the man who I had a relationship with in the past and who was sent in a concentration camp for being a seducer.”

Otto remained silent, seemingly taken aback upon learning that. 

“I’d never thought I would get to see him again one day…”

In all honesty, neither had Otto. But now that this Peter guy had come back he was somehow feeling upset. 

“Don’t start imagining things that aren’t true. We just talked about trivial things.”

Otto looked back into Martin’s eyes before nodding. 

Silence again. 

“We should go to bed now. It’s getting late,” Martin eventually said after a while. “And we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

And with that being said, they both went to bed, but both men had trouble getting some sleep that night, even in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here you go! This chapter is a bit longer, which you may have noticed, and I hope you liked it.  
> I'll try to update the next one asap.  
> Meanwhile don't hesitate to comment to let me know your thoughts or if you have any suggestions! 
> 
> Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

Just as he had promised, Martin went to see Peter at the crack of dawn the following day.

“Why are you getting up so early?” Otto asked him, even though he actually knew the answer.

“Peter is suffering from heavy trauma, so I just want to make sure he’s alright.”

Otto watched him getting dressed as he was still lying in bed, not even bothering to nod as a reply. He guessed it was a good thing since apparently Peter wouldn’t talk to anyone else. Yet…

Martin peered at his lover silently.

“It won’t take too long.”

Otto didn’t reply anything as he kept staring at him. Martin held back a sigh.

“Here in this hospital, he’s just a patient and nothing more.”

Still no reaction on Otto’s part. Martin got closer to him as he sat down by his side on the mattress.

“Otto…”

“You should be going now. He must be waiting for you.”

Martin didn’t like this situation at all. He really wished this could have been avoided. Out of the blue, he kissed the other male on the lips and wrapped his fingers around his neck with his thumb on his cheek to give it a light stroke. Otto kissed him back; however he quickly broke the kiss. Martin gave him a frustrated look.

“I’ll see you later,” Otto simply said.

Martin didn’t insist, and instead he stood up and left their room swiftly.

Peter was already awake when he approached him. But he didn’t even greet him.

“So…How are you feeling?” Martin asked him.

“Much better now that you’re here.”

Martin tensed because of his words.

“Listen, Peter, I-”

“No, please, listen to me first,” Peter interjected. “I know it’s been quite a while since we were dating, but I’d like us to get back together.”

Once again, a guilty look was plastered on Martin’s face as he stiffened.

“Sorry Peter…But it won’t be possible. What we had is part of the past, and what is part of the past should remain in the past.”

Peter stared at him intently in silence and in disbelief. A long and awkward moment of silence followed Martin’s harsh words.

“You don’t understand…” Peter ended up saying. “I’ve never stopped loving you. The only thing which enabled me to hold up there during all this time was thinking of you. If I’m still alive today, it’s all thanks to you.”

Another pang of guilt hit Martin hard right in the guts as he said that. There was another moment of silence.

“Listen, Peter, I was the main cause of your downfall and suffering… Hadn’t it been for me, you would’ve never been sent to a concentration camp. And now I’m certain you will find another man who will love you unconditionally and help you piece yourself back together.”

“No, you got it all wrong. It wasn’t your fault if I was sent there. Besides, you paid for what we had as well. You shouldn’t be feeling guilty.”

Martin knew he had a point, but still, he couldn’t help feeling guilty for what happened to his former lover.

“Peter…I’m sorry…But I love someone else.”

This sudden piece of news made Peter feel like he had just been stabbed.

“Is that so?” He said, disappointment obvious in his voice.

“I’m really sorry.”

“No need to apologise. I should have guessed you would end up replacing me one day. I was gone for so long. I wasn’t even sure I would come back alive at some point.”

“…..”

“Who is it?”

Martin was somehow taken aback by his question.

“Why do you want to know? You don’t even know him.”

Well, technically, that was true. He had only seen Otto, but it’s not as if he knew him.

“I’m just curious. I want to know who managed to steal your heart and made you forget me.”

“I didn’t forget you.”

“You may have not, but you moved on.”

“And that’s what you should do.”

“But I don’t want to. I’ve never loved anyone else but you, and I never will. I want to piece myself back with you.”

“Peter, you have to understand that I don’t love you anymore.”

“When you really love someone, you just can’t stop loving them all of a sudden. I’m certain you've never stopped loving me. But I wasn’t there while _he_ was. You just had to make up for my absence with someone else; to ease the pain I guess.”

Martin was at a loss for words.

“Unless… You never really loved me…”

“How can you say such a thing?” Martin shot back somewhat offended. “I did love you!”

“How can I be sure now? Maybe what we had was all fake.”

“It wasn’t. Things have simply changed.”

“Then I can’t believe you don’t love me anymore,” Peter answered, ignoring his last remark.

Once again, Martin held back a sigh.

“I know it must hurt-”

“No, you don’t. You’ve never been rejected by the one you love, have you?”

“Peter…”

Said man was silent this time. Martin didn’t know what to do or say any longer, so he thought it was best to leave now.

“Do you really think he will love you forever?” Peter ended up saying before he could take a step.

But Martin didn’t feel like talking any more to him and turned around to leave.

“Had you been sent to a concentration camp like I was, do you really think he wouldn’t have replaced you with another man like you did with me?”

He turned back around to look at Peter again.

“I almost was sent to a concentration camp. Someone denounced us. Hadn’t it been for him, I wouldn’t have been here talking to you right now. He saved me.”

Peter was surprised by his statement.

“How come he managed to spare you from going there? I’d never thought such a thing could be possible, let alone happen.”

“It was actually thanks to his elder sister. She had good connections within the hospital. But hadn’t it been for her brother, she would’ve never helped me.”

“You were really lucky then.”

“Yes.”

“Unlike me.”

“….”

The feeling of guilt wasn’t going to leave him alone anytime soon.

“I’m sure he doesn’t love you as much as I do.”

Right after Peter finished his sentence, the door was opened, revealing Otto. Both men laid eyes on him.

“Am I interrupting?” He asked, raising one brow.

“No, not at all,” Martin responded, feeling somewhat uncomfortable.

Being together in the same room with his former lover and the current one was definitely something he wished wouldn’t happen again. It was awkward no end.

“I was about to leave anyway,” he then added, before he did leave the room without another word, closing the door behind him.

Peter wanted to try to talk him into staying, but since the doctor was there now, he decided against it.

“So, how are you feeling this morning?” Otto asked him, trying to be as nice and natural as possible. But he had to admit that it wasn’t that easy in those circumstances.

Peter glanced at him with a lack of interest, and looked dejected. He didn’t feel like answering. Witnessing no reaction on his part, Otto didn’t insist and proceeded to check how he was healing.

“It seems that you’re into him.”

Otto’s statement was too unexpected for Peter not to react this time.

“Why would you say that?” He said, looking almost afraid.

“I saw the way you were looking at him when he left the room. I can’t be mistaken. This is the kind of look that leaves no room for ambiguity.”

Peter gave him a somewhat wary look.

“You are supposed to treat me to help me get better as a doctor, not to pry into my personal life.”

“I didn’t mean to pry. But there’s one thing you need to know. A doctor is not only someone who treats; it’s someone who cares for his patients, so that in this way he can create bonds with them; because every medical deed must be performed with love.”

“Love…” Peter scoffed.

Otto was now staring at him gravely.

“…Such an idiotic thing.”

Otto said nothing, and kept observing his facial expression.

“Do you know how it feels…? When the person you love the most has replaced you by someone else?” Peter ended up saying, totally upset.

Now Otto couldn’t help but feel pity for the older man. And he couldn’t help but think how he had sort of stolen his lover from him while he must have gone through hell for so much time.

“I’m sorry. It must be awful.”

“How can you know? Has it already happened to you?”

Otto looked down as if to think.

“No, it hasn’t.”

Peter made eye contact with him before asking:

“Do you have a girl or wife?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Lucky you. At least you can be sure it won’t happen to you as long as you’re single.”

“…You shouldn’t lose hope.”

“The last glimmer of hope I had should have been shattered to pieces long ago.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I don’t even know why I’m talking to you right now. You may be able to fix physical impairments, but you can’t fix psychological damage.”

“We can send you to the psychiatry ward once you have completely healed if you will.”

“No, I don’t want to go there.”

“Nothing bad will happen to you.”

No other word came from Peter’s mouth afterward. Except this last sentence after a while of his remaining silent.

“I love him so much I could die,” he whispered.

It was almost painful to see the man so desperate.

There was really something that needed to be done about that. And quick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D***, things are getting pretty complicated...  
> Honestly, I'm still not sure about what I wrote in the last part of this chapter (the conversation between Otto and Peter), so I may modify it in the future, I don't really know yet...  
> Also, you have probably noticed it, but this chapter is much longer than the two previous ones (more than 1,000 words)  
> Anyway, I hope you liked it! :)   
> Thanks to all the people who have read and are interested in this fan fic so far ♥ It really means a lot to me. 
> 
> In case you don't know, I'm new here (as a writer) and I'm new to this fandom as well, but honestly I'm glad I am a part of it now. Besides, I couldn't wait to write a fanfic about those two sweethearts, even if this one is rather centred on drama and angst than love for now; but I promise that there will be a happy ending for them (otherwise I wouldn't have written it)

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope this first chapter was good enough ^^ (I should apologise because I'm not a really good writer..)  
> Anyway, don't hesitate to let me know your thoughts on it; I'll be really glad to read what you have to say! Any constructive criticism to improve this story is welcome of course :)  
> Also, I am not an English native speaker, so I apologise if there are any mistakes; I try to be as careful as possible about that. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
